50 Police Puns That Are Legal to Laugh At

This list of police puns is open to contribution. If you’d like to add a police pun to it, please submit it to us using the comments section below.

When you are driving quickly listening to your music and having fun, you cannot help but feel a degree of fear when you see flashing lights behind you. You know what is going on and then you have to pull right over since you see the blue and red lights flashing on the car behind you. You know you were speeding and that is why you are being pulled over. Then you see the police come out of the car asking you for your license, insurance, and proof of ownership. You were speeding so you were being handed a ticket. How many demerit points did you lose for speeding? You are just thankful that all you got was a ticket for speeding as you did not drink anything. Or else, that would have been an issue. That is one instance where you do not want to see the cops.

However, if you were being harassed by someone over and over again, that is a time when you need help from the police. You call the cops and they come over so you can file a report, and then the police will stop the offender from harassing you. Maybe they need a restraining order, but either way, they stop. The police have both a good and bad reputation. But let’s not focus on that. Let’s talk about police puns, and let’s throw about 50 of them right now!

List of Police Puns That Are Legal to Laugh At:

Following are some of the best police puns that are legal to laugh at:

A cop who breezes through the new radar gun’s user’s manual is a speed reader.
The cop celebrated on that day only because it was National Donut Day.
A policeman’s favorite summertime vegetable is corn on the cop.
Why did the cop arrest the grocer who organized the celery? It was for stalking.
The cannibal cop was arrested for grilling his suspects.
The cop arrested the sausage maker because of being the wurst.
The police call a perp who robs the local drug store a pillager.
The cop arrested the photographer for flashing people.
The one thing that cops and firemen have in common is that both want to be firemen.
God created policemen because firemen could have heroes.
The arsonist’s alibi to the cops was only a flame excuse.
There is a money saying that cops eat up and that is ‘dollars for donuts’.
The librarian join the police force because of wanting to work under cover.
The traffic cop gives the bard a ticket for driving without a poetic license.
The police officer cried after making the arrest because it was a moving violation.
The one cop that always solves crimes purely by accident is Sheer Luck Holmes.
The one reason that pencils get sent to the pen is because of having to do long sentences.
What is a flying policeman? A helicopter.
There was a reason that the light-footed cop pull over the U-Haul for wanting to bust a move.
Old policemen never retire as they want to cop out instead.
The crappy policeman becomes a paleontologist because of being a real coprolite.
The cop said to the suspect ‘if you run, you’ll just go to jail tired.’
A cop who breezes through the new radar gun’s users manual is a speed reader.
The belt was arrested for holding up a pair of pants.
The issue is that bicycle cops can’ stop gasoline theft because they’re not on petrol.
The lid was arrested because it wasn’t in Colorado.
The proper police attire for detaining a perp is a holding tank.
The cops arrest the creeper hosier fot stocking.
The drummer joins the police academy to become a beat cop.
The one who issues vests, shirts, and jackets to the police is the top cop.
There is an animal that has an asshole halfway up his back and that is the police horse.
The cop had to arrest the guy who was playing pool for picking pockets.
Why was the biggest thief the atlas? For holding up the world.
The detective duck had one goal and that was to quack the case.
What do you call it when a detective mutt that is not nice keeps following you around? You are being cur-tailed.
Why did the coffee shop have to call the police station? That is because they were getting mugged.
Why did the police arrest the vampire? Because of robbing the blood bank.
The police call a person who has been debriefed as a nudist.
The chemist was arrested but was able to escape, so what did he say? ‘Cu later, Copper’.
What is the correct police clothing for shadowing a suspect? A follow suit.
The alibi the Neanderthal give to the B.C. cops was that he was with his mate, at his cave, man.
The police unit that responds when terrorist mosquitoes attack is the SWAT Team.
What type of tea does a cop prefer to drink? The police brew tally tea.
The dinosaurs that kept law and order in Jurassic Park were the Tricero-cops.
A concierge ophthalmologist who helps the police solve crimes is known as a private eye doctor.
What do the cops announce when they come while you are having your tailgating party? Dish is the Police.
When you say you don’t want to go to the police academy is a pure cop-out.
The thing that occurred after all the board games were stolen from the toy store was that the cops were not satisfied as they were still looking for Clues.
What was the show that was about the police solving crimes committed by garden gnomes? That was Lawn Order.
The reason that the parrot was in prison was that he was a jail bird.